I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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