so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
