You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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