He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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