Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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