At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
