Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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