Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
