So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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