Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
