Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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