it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
