I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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