The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
