So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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