haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
