no, he came in my armpit
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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