She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
