? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
