I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
