I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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