just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
