that's an acceptable place to lick
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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