we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you play pong handcuffed?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize