Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
