I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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