We won't sleep together?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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