Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize