toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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