if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize