I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
