So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
