ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
