textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize