You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
