is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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