pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
