Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
