It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
