He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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