Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
