I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
