3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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