you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
