I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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