I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...