Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
