You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
