ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
and eventually we just all took our pants off
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
