She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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