look no pants
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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