he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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