God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
