We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
