so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
