so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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