remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
