I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
